The Man

Monday, June 11, 2007

The last time I had to consistently wake up before 8AM was in High School. I would somehow manage to be up at 5:30AM just to get at school by 6:30 so I could either park on the street or get a spot in the Senior Lot. Well, I should correct that, I had 8AM classes in college, but I slept in more times than not.

Now, thanks to the Bar, I get to leave the house at 8AM just in time for everyone's morning commute. I never knew people were so miserable on their way to work. This story isn't that crazy, but I was shocked! As I was driving on the 10 East, a Volvo Station Wagon was behind me and one lane over, while a SUV was directly behind me. The Volvo tried to get in my lane, while the SUV tried to get into the Volvo's lane, make sense?

Unfortunately, both cars were parallel with each other. Fortunately, they didn't hit each other. Although, what ensued was comedy. The guy in the Volvo started yelling at the guy in the SUV and vice versa. I thought to myself, "REALLY, these guys are yelling over merging lanes?" They continued to follow each other down the freeway, yelling and cutting each other off....

ok this story sucks... you had to be there

Sunday, June 10, 2007

My friend got married this weekend. It was a very nice wedding. Two nights in a row. Saturday was a ceremony called raas garba, lots of dancing, lots of fun! I learned both the five step and the twelve step garba dance. Between that and the "chori chori" song, I should be a bollywood superstar! I had a bad joke that didn't go over well. We sat on the floor to watch the bride, groom, and the groom's men put on a show. After I sat, I asked "do we have to sit Indian style?" Ya..... didn't get a laugh.

Anyways, Sunday night was the formal reception. A group of us from law school were sitting outside eating appetizers while unbeknownst to us, everyone else was being seated. The seating was first-come first-serve, so it ended up being everyman for himself. My friend Ramin and I started looking for seats, it was like the scene in Forrest Gump when he gets on the bus and everyone says "sorry, seats taken!" Except most of them had an Indian accent. We sat down at a table and I felt like we were being watched by the rest of the people sitting there, but then my friends Anand and Roli came and instantly gave us some Indian street cred, after that, the table livened up to the two Iranians that had infiltrated the seats!

But the real story of the night is that someone took my suit jacket. I don't know how you can leave a wedding with someone else's blazer, but whatever. I guess its for the better, now I have an excuse to get a new suit!

Thursday, June 7, 2007

I'm sitting in the library when my friend Tapti texted me "there is a bug by me come kill it!" I was deep in some Evidence questions so I ignored her, but mostly, I'm afraid of bugs. Then she IM'd me and begged me to come kill it, I decided to man up and go see what I could do.

I walked over to where she was sitting, her and her friend were both cowered in the corner and pointing towards the window. I pulled back the blinds and saw thins GIANT BLACK fly, it wasn't even a fly, it was an animal. It was at least 1 1/2"!

I really did not want to grab it, so I grabbed a newspaper and thought about swinging at it. I got thoughts of Men In Black, where they have to fight the bug guy and all the bug juice gets everywhere. So I decided to work smarter, not harder. I went to the librarian and asked him if he had any bug spray. I explained the situation and I'm sure the entire time he thought I was a wimp.

He found some bug spray and I directed him towards the fly. He pulled back the blinds and yelled "DAMN!" I was instantly gratified, knowing that I was not the only man who thought the thing was HUGE! He sprayed the fly and order was restored to the library!

Unfortunately, the female security guard now laughs every time I walk in!

This is what the fly looked like:

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Since I spend most of my time at school while studying for the Bar, I joined the Gold's Gym in Downtown. I swear I am psychic, because as soon as I entered the parking lot, I knew something was different. I kept thinking about the parking lot ticket.

I parked my car, got my gym bag, and put the parking ticket in my back pocket. The Gold's membership card is one of those small card you can put on your keychain. I hate it! Other than a bottle opener, I hate anything on my keychain, other than keys. So I keep my card in my wallet. As I'm walking towards the gym, I grab my wallet to get my card and also reach into my other pocket to get the parking ticket so the guy can validate it. I hate when people go somewhere and wait 'till they are at the location to do whatever they need to do. Like when you're at the grocery store and the person does not swipe their credit card until the cashier has rung up EVERY item! You can swipe your card at any time, thanks for wasting my time! I like to have my membership card and parking ticket in hand as I walk to the desk. So I go to grab my ticket and it's not there!

I check my pockets.... no ticket! I double check... no tickets! Trying to be a man of style, my jean pockets have holes in them, I guess being a man of style is not conducive to carrying stuff in your back pocket! I assume that the ticket fell out of my pocket somewhere between the car and the gym. I retrace my steps, but I couldn't find my ticket. Whatever, I guess I'll pay the full price or maybe if I show my gym card they will let me out of the parking lot. I do my work out and when I leave the gym I tell the receptionist that I lost my card. He says "oh man, you're going to have to pay full price, that's like $27!" I told him that's fine, but I don't know where to go. He said "go to the parking office on the eighth floor of the parking lot, that's where you can pay the $27... or you can wait here maybe someone will return the card, I don't want you to have to pay full price!"

I walk back to the parking lot and go to the eighth floor. No parking office. I go to the seventh floor and find the security guard.

Me: "Excuse me sir, I lost my parking ticket, where do I go to pay?"

Guard: "ohhh, you lost your ticket, you're going to have to pay full price!"

Me: "Yes, I know, but where!"

Guard: "Go to the fourth floor, there is an office there, that's where you can pay full price!"

I get my car which is on the sixth floor, drive to the fourth floor, find a spot, and walk into the office. "Hi, I lost my ticket, I'm here to pay!" The lady says "Ohhh... you're going to have to pay full price!" For the love of god, I understand, can I just LEAVE! On top of that, she asked for my drivers license number, the type of car I have, my license plate number, and a signature! I might as well have been signing up for a mail order bride!

Finally, after about 15 minutes of walking around this giant parking lot and $28.20 later, I was able to leave... don't ever lose your parking lot ticket!